Pink Chair

ep 06 transcript:
When Life happens & you have to show up anyway

My name is Laura and I'm a wellness expert and founder of BE.FLOW Digital, a social media marketing studio. This is a space where I share thoughts and musings on marketing philosophies and how you can create more space for yourself and your wellness as a business owner.

The funny thing about being visible online, whether that be through social media or email marketing or just generally putting yourself out there as a business owner and owning it... is that it brings up all kinds of….feelings, insecurities, fears, imposter syndrome, comparison. Putting yourself and your business out there is actually a vulnerable place to be.

 

So today I want to ask you this: what would it be like to own the space you take up in this world? To embrace who you are, right now, in this moment, as a perfectly imperfect person that is still growing and changing. How would that embolden you to show up online?

 

A big question I’ve come up against personally: Can you dream big and be a leader in your space and still be a work in progress?

 

I think about this a lot because if I’m going through a hard time, I’ve noticed that I withdraw and sort of put my personal passion projects to the side and then dive into other things, like client work where I don’t have to be at the helm. In my head, I’m thinking. I’m not in a good space, I can’t possibly be a leader to others. Who would want to model themselves after me? Look at me, I’m a mess.

 

But what I’ve come to realize is this:

 

Not one of us is exempt from the imperfect, messy aspects of life. Not one of us has it all together. We are all a work in progress. Life goes on despite our businesses and it affects everyone. We have babies, marriages get rocky, we experience loss. Behind every business is a real human being with joys and struggles like all the rest. And we rarely hear about it. That business owner you admire who shows up everyday with a smile on their face? They’re likely facing things you have no clue about behind the scenes.

 

So what do we do when life happens and showing up in our businesses gets hard?

 

So the first thing I want to say is that even things we think are distractions in life, or negative or mistakes...those things can actually become defining learning opportunities that catapult you and your business into where you were meant to go. Those moments when we have to practice our reroute muscle are actually a key part of our development of how we will ultimately show up in the world. In fact, our brains have a mechanism specifically to help us re-route, re-focus, re-calibrate and it’s a matter of intention and practice. If you can master that, you can do anything. There are no limits. So next time you feel like you want to withdraw because of imposter syndrome, I want you to take a moment to remind yourself that it’s okay to show up as a real human being and to practice that re-focusing mechanism that your brain is naturally equipped to execute.

 

Here’s a little exercise to help you practice that in a few minutes a day. Take a seated posture, nice and relaxed, but sitting up and aware of your surroundings. Keep a soft gaze or close your eyes. Then just focus on your breath. Don’t try to change it or manipulate it. Simply just notice it. Notice the quality. Notice where it is in your body today. When your mind wanders, notice it. Then simply call it back to the breath. Do this for 5-10 minutes a day as a way to practice that skill of choosing your point of focus.

 

The second thing I want to say is that sometimes it’s okay to take a step back for a second and rest. Ask yourself what you need in this season of life? What’s flowing? What do you feel resistance toward? What feels expansive, even if it’s scary? What feels constrictive? Do any of the answers surprise you? Our bodies are not made to sustain effort 24/7, so if this is a season of going slower, taking smaller, slower, more intentional steps, or resting, let it be. This will help your longevity and also honors the natural seasons of our bodies, minds, and spirits go through in life. 

 

Finally, I’ll say this: I’ve always been a person, too, that believes the darkness in each of us, the things that aren’t perfect, the flaws, and the mistakes...that’s what makes us human. And real. And relatable. Dynamic. And that the darkness is essential to balancing out the light, even if it doesn’t feel good in the moment, all of our life experiences come together to create wholeness. And so it’s all valuable. When you show up as a real human and you model that, you give others permission to show up as they are, too. 


 

As Danielle LaPorte says in her book, “White Hot Truth” (which I’ll link in the show notes), “Transformation begins with the radical acceptance of what is.”

 

Can you imagine not craving to be different that you are right now?

 

How much more powerful will your message be if you just fully show up as you are, embracing what is? How much more will you be able to relate to your customer?

 

Can you love yourself into more fullness today? And then take that a step further and let that overflow into your business and how it expresses itself to others.

 

I think we’re all craving for more humanity and to be sold to a little less.

 

Affirmations:

 

I am growing and changing and it’s all perfectly on time. 

Growth is happening, even when I can’t see it.

I am listening to and honoring the seasons I’m going through.