ep 05 transcript:
embracing the unknown in business
My name is Laura and I'm a wellness expert and founder of BE.FLOW Digital, a social media marketing studio. This is a space where I share thoughts and musings on marketing philosophies and how you can create more space for yourself and your wellness as a business owner.
There’s this very common thing that happens as we grow up, which is that the obligations and responsibilities start to pile up and pretty soon every nook and cranny of our lives is filled to the brim with commitments. We get to this place where life starts to happen to us and we stop feeling like we have a choice in the matter.
Then you throw in entrepreneurship and there’s just no way to sort through the mess anymore.
There are a few things I want to talk about here, but I want you to know that I don’t say any of this from a place of judgement. This comes from a place of being a constant work in progress, myself, from working through the mess. And from many wake-up calls where I had to bounce back from huge “failures” that at the time felt like the end of the world.
This idea of life happening to us and losing the ability to choose is simply a mindset we adopt over time rather than a fact of life.
Can I just start by saying that you are stronger than you know. You were built to endure. You were built as a resilient human being with a body literally set up to support you as you journey through all the things you can’t control. Maybe you believe in god or a greater being, maybe you don’t. But I believe that this trust in the abundant power that lives within each of us is simply constant.
So here are three ways to deal with all the uncertainty of owning your own business.
1. Embrace the mess.
There’s no disputing that life is messy. Business gets messy. You can have every system in place, and you can pinterest or youtube all the tips on how to do anything, but this idea of living in the mess and learning to embrace the grey area, the not knowing, that is the hard stuff. This is the concept that doesn’t have a practical check-list associated with it. I want to get you to a place where living in the messy middle IS the destination, where the mess doesn’t scare you anymore. First of all, when it comes to marketing and social media, polished and curated is out anyway. No one wants to see that anymore. Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed, chaotic, or like you can’t find your footing...PAUSE. Identify the emotion you’re feeling. Rather than saying, I’m stressed. Can you be very, very specific and name the emotion? For example, Yesterday I wasn’t stressed. I was struggling to relax in my off time because of the to do lists and a fear of disappointing my clients and colleagues. When you name it you remove the mystery and you can see it for what it truly is. After being specific about it, I can acknowledge that actually, the best thing I can do for them is to be good to myself and give myself a breather. I can remind myself that my life is for my joy and not theirs. And that to live into my calling, relaxing is beautiful and good. It is safe to relax and enjoy time when I’m not working. It is safe to just be. Can you feel the emotion and breathe it in? Can you remind yourself that this is part of being human, that this is part of your journey? Can ask yourself if what you fear out of the situation is unequivocally true?
“As we practice moving into the present moment this way, we become more familiar with groundlessness, a fresh state of being that is available to us on an ongoing basis. This moving away from comfort and security, this stepping out into what is unknown, uncharted, and shaky—that’s called liberation.” - Pema Chodron
I hold the unpopular opinion that releasing yourself from the need to have it all sorted and embrace the mystery that is unfolding for you? If you find that you only have harsh judgements and thoughts for yourself in the process of entrepreneurship, can you get curious about where that’s coming from and choose something different? How would you nurture a friend in these moments? Can you extend that same kindness to yourself?
2. Build in more self-care.
I will always be the person to remind you that if you need support, it’s time to add in more time for healing, restoration, and recovery. The more you grow, the deeper your roots need to be. The more nurturing and care you need. In the last episode, I outlined some tips for advocating for your own work-life balance, but I really want you to start to embrace the fact that if your goal is to serve a community, or make an impact, you have to give yourself a support system for sustainable joy. Your community can sense if you’re burnt out, so the best thing you can do for your business is to make space for you. If you feel grounded, your business will follow suit.
Prioritize your health in baby steps. It’s not about what everyone else is doing. Look at your life and identify what you can feasibly take a baby step toward to make your health goals a reality. The science behind habits tells us that habits stick when we replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one so look for places to swap out the old and usher in the new.
3. Get curious.
Instead of getting down into the suffering, see if you can explore a new narrative, one that allows you to feel empowered, to find joy in the journey, to ask for support, to receive all the good that is coming your way.
Whenever you feel yourself getting into a cycle of negativity, can you soften around the edges and let yourself simply feel? Can you let your mind get curious? Can you choose a path of play and ease?
One way to get curious is to implement daily or weekly check-ins.
Here are a few ideas:
How am I feeling in this moment?
This week, I want to feel ________.
What went well?
What is draining me? Is this something to eliminate?
What do I want to make more space for next week?
What can I let go of?
What can I celebrate?
What am I grateful for?
Next time you feel stuck, or overwhelmed, pause. Breathe. Identify the emotion you’re feeling and go through this checklist.
Here are a few affirmations to seal today podcast:
I am free to feel joy, even in the messy middle.
It’s okay if I don’t have everything figured out. Things are unfolding right on time
I am worthy of and receive an abundance of support, nurturing, and healing today.
If you're enjoying these philosophies and want to continue the conversation come join me over on Instagram @beflowdigital or dig into our blog over at beflowdigital.com/blog. There are all kinds of free tips and advice over there and we love to balance it with a whole range of musings on entrepreneur wellness. Thank you for listening!