ep 03 transcript:
The joy of missing out
We live in a world of instant gratification, constant connectivity, and unrealistic expectations around productivity.
We see people's lives and make snap judgements based on 15, 30 or 60 seconds of their highlight reel. We log in to social media for that hit of dopamine, without even realizing the moments that are getting stolen from us.
Dr. Will Cole, a Functional Medicine Doctor (that I found on Instagram, LOL -- I’m not saying everything social is bad, the power of our connectedness can be hugely positive, but here I will be speaking more to the ways we unconsciously lose time), always uses the term “the joy of missing out”, which is the antithesis of “FOMO” or fear of missing out.
I have become a firm believer that when you say NO to something, you are saying YES to something else in your life. Maybe for you, your intuition is subtly asking you to say no to a business opportunity, client, or the meaningless scrolling on IG. Maybe it;s asking you to say yes to having just a little more margin in your life. Margin that doesn’t need to be defined with another task or to do, but with more space to simply BE a human being, unplugged, raw and real.
And the reverse is true, isn’t it? If you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else.
Maybe you’ve heard all of this before, but let’s really play this out practically. Presently, what are your YES’S and what are your NOs? Are you consciously deciding what those are? Are there any on that list that feel off or icky?
If we continue to live in unhealthy situations, or allow our YES’s to violate our wellness, our self-trust diminishes because we take signals our body is sending us and stuffing them away for a rainy day. The practice of honoring and trusting your intuition isn’t just a fluffy thing you do when you’re trying to decide on a paint color for your living room. It’s something sacred that will serve you in the hardest life choices and in your business.
I will admit, I have spent years ignoring my gut feelings and being critical of my intuition on nearly everything, and let me just say that it is hard to unravel that later. But when you start practicing and making it a habit to trust yourself, you learn that you can keep faith with yourself. And it gets easier and easier over time. Believe this: It is the most natural thing in the world to trust your intuition.
The Joy of Missing out, practically played out looks like trusting that intuition and making intentional choices based on your core values. It is trusting that if you make that space, that there is more in store for you. Sometimes you can’t call in what you are destined for until you take that leap of faith to leave what is toxic behind.
These words have been so validating to me. Let them wash over you.
Christi Steyn, Spoken Word Artist
“I lied and said I was busy. I was busy but not in a way people understand.
I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself “I am okay.”
Sometimes this is my busy. And I will not apologize for it.”
There is something that feels so true about this celebration of creating space for ourselves. Space for leisure, rest, hobbies, or space to have a BAD day because it’s normal. We don’t talk about that enough as business owners, how to have a bad day and still run the show...
So here’s my recommendation to you:
1. Make a list of your YES’s and what that means for your NOs. Then make a list of the reverse, your NOs and what that means you’re saying YES to.
2. Write down your values. Do your Yes’s and no’s align with those values?
3. Revisit them every quarter. Check in to make sure that your intentions are aligning with your actions
4. And finally, journal daily on your lived experience so you remain conscious of your feelings. If you’re aware (or awake, as I like to say, then you have information you can make change with).
When we practice the Joy of Missing out, we invest in our wellness both as individuals and as a collective.
I’ll leave you with these affirmations to integrate this concept this week, month, or quarter. Feel free to say them aloud whenever you need...
You get be nourished, just like everyone else.
No amount of doing and achieving will make you more worthy. You are already worthy, simply as you are.
I get to be calm, at peace, and joyful. I get to be whatever I want to be and I am the creator of my own destiny.
It feels SO good to nourish myself.